Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
