Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
