I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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