Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize