Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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