His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
