Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
