she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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