And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
