all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
