i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
