i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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