Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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