i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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