Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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