but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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