This is not my ceiling
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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