Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
