We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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