im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
