we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
50% drunk capacity currently
Randomize
