dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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