Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
