The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
