doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
