Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Can I color on your dick again?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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