dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
