Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He had one of those small greek statue penises
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
