I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
