so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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