are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize