Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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