She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
