I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize