Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
