i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
