so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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