When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
