I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
