when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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