I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
