I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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