I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
