just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
