HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
