First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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