GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
