This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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