I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
