And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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