so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
