I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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