i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
