I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
