when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
