Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
