i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
