Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
