why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
