I bet he comes in French.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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