What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
