No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
