ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize