I want to make a zoo with you.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
