how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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