I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They took my balls.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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