I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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