I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
